Bleach Fairy Tales and Folklore
by Totoromo
Summary: Fairy tales and folklore from around the world, redone with Bleach characters or in the Bleach universe. Humor, drama, parody. Details and cast listed at the beginning of each chapter.
1. The Golden Bird part 1

**Title:** Bleach Fairy Tales and Folklore

**Fandom:** Bleach

**Rating:** T, violence, mild cussing, mild romance

**Description:** Fairy tales and folklore from around the world, redone with Bleach characters or in the Bleach universe. Humor, drama, parody.

**Disclaimer:**_ Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love._

I love stories, tall tales, legends, folklore, myth, etc. Below are some stories rewritten with the Bleach characters, or in some cases in the Bleach universe. Some I may set in modern times, others simply back in some unmentioned past. I will list the characters used and the original story. This will be similar to "The Labors of Hercules as Done by Squad 11" (which I promise to finish!).

This being me, I will be adding a good dose of humor to every story.

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><p><strong>The Golden Bird - Part One<strong>

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><p><strong>From:<strong> Grimm's Fairy Tales

**Warnings:** OOC Yamamoto, a IchiRuki kiss, violence towards foxes

**Main Cast:** Shiro, Kon, Ichigo, Byakuya, Rukia

**Also:** Isshin, Shunsui, Ukitake, Yamamoto, Kenpachi and Squad 11

* * *

><p>"One of the golden apples is missing?" King Yamamoto asked. "But...I love those apples. Are they even ripe yet? I asked yesterday and you said I had to wait to eat them." The king glared at his head gardener.<p>

"Well you technically could have eaten it yesterday but they will be so much better if you just let them ripen for a couple more days," Isshin the royal gardener replied.

"Fine, but find out who is taking my apples. I'm pretty sure we have a sign out, right?" Yamamoto grumbled.

"Yes, a don't trespass one, a private property one, and then a "Don't eat the King's Apples!" one," Isshin answered. "I'll send my oldest son out tonight to see if someone comes by again."

* * *

><p><em>The next day<em>

"He...slept? HE SLEPT!" King Yamamoto yelled at his gardener.

"Kon was able to stay awake until just before midnight but then he fell asleep. I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again. I'll send my second born tonight," Isshin told his king.

* * *

><p><em>The next day<em>

"Are you going to tell me that your second son slept too?" The angry king asked.

"Er...yes...he slept," Isshin said. Better not tell him that Shiro just decided it was boring and never went at all, he thought to himself.

"Send your youngest," King Yamamoto said.

"B-but, not Ichigo! What if something bad gets him!" Isshin whined.

So he doesn't care at all about his other sons? King Yamamoto privately wondered. "Send Ichigo," he said out loud, firmly. He liked apple pies, and without golden apples his pies were listless. His cook had tried to make him a pecan pie instead. Sacrilegious! How dare he!

* * *

><p><em>That Night<em>

You think it wouldn't be that comfortable hanging out in a tree, but here it is, almost midnight, and I'm dozing, Ichigo thought to himself with a yawn. The clock struck midnight and there was a rustling of wings. Ichigo watched in astonishment as a great golden bird landed in a nearby tree and plucked an almost perfectly ripe apple with his beak and began to eat. Ichigo jumped up, and not knowing what else to do, attacked the bird with his sword drawn. The bird easily flew away, dropping a single feather.

That morning he brought the king the golden feather and told him what had happened.

"That is...a really nice feather," King Yamamoto said, taking a good look at it.

"What, is it magical or something?" Isshin asked.

"Um...yeah...really magical. Magically made out of golden, shazam!" No one laughed. The King glared at them. The room filled with laughter. "Seriously though, a golden bird. I want one." He looked at the gardener meaningfully.

"W-what? Don't you have like warriors and other people to do this stuff?" Isshin complained.

"You have three sons, you can spare one," the king said.

* * *

><p><em>Kon – on his quest<em>

Man this sucks. Just because I fell asleep before, now I have to find this stupid bird? What about Shiro, he didn't even get out of bed. At least I tried! Kon grumbled to himself as he sat by the river, watching the fire.

"Hello," a voice said from the darkness.

Kon braced himself to run but it was just a fox. "Oh hi fox," he said. Wait, a talking fox? "Oh thank goodness!" Kon yelled to the sky. "You're my guardian spirit and are going to do this quest for me, right?"

"No," the fox said dryly. "I do have advice for you though. In the town ahead there will be two taverns, one worn and dirty looking, one new and beautiful and lively. Go to the worn out looking one."

"If you're not going to help me, then go away!" Kon said petulantly, throwing a couple of rocks at the fox, who easily darted away.

When he got to the nearby town the next day, he gave no thought at all to the advice of the fox. He briefly looked at the small shack that reported to be an inn, but was immediately drawn by the woman who was waving out the window at the other one.

"Need a place to stay, traveler?" she asked out the window, her large breasts filling her low cut blouse to a point where it was a miracle of modern science that the whole thing didn't just burst off.

"Uh huh," Kon nodded, letting himself be led into the inn.

Once he was at the inn, he forgot all about his quest, his promises to his dad, or the fact that he was a mission from his king.

* * *

><p><em>Shiro – on his quest<em>

"Of course he hasn't been heard from. You gave 'em a buncha money and pointed him towards civilization," Shiro bitched.

"What are you talking about? We live in civilization," his dad replied.

"We live in a very _dry_ civilization, if you know what I'm talking about," Shiro said.

His dad looked confused.

"We have no sake and like two minimally hot chicks near us," Shiro explained.

"Oh," Isshin said. "Well then you'll be happy to know that you're going next!" he said with a smile.

"I'm...wait a minute, I never said I wanted to..."

"Here's money for supplies, make sure to look for Kon! Oh, and bring back that bird!" Isshin said, pushing his second eldest son out the door.

Shiro looked at the small bag of money in his hand. "How the hell am I related him?" he said out loud.

While camping by a river, he took the time to watch the fire lick over a dry log in his camp fire.

"Hello," he heard a voice. Shiro's hand went to his weapon.

"A fox?" Shiro said, his hand retreating from his sword. He shrugged and watched the fire again.

"Doesn't it seem odd that I'm a talking fox?" the fox asked.

"Yer kiddin, right? This whole place is fulla weird talking shit that shouldn't talk. And like trees that won't die. And weird curses and magic coins and crap," Shiro shrugged.

"I have advice for you, for your quest," the fox said. "In the town ahead there will be two taverns, one worn and dirty looking, one new and beautiful and lively. Go to the worn out looking one."

Shiro reached under his arm, grabbing out two small throwing knives. "I just realized, foxes are kind of cool. I think I want a fox tail hat," he grinned widely.

The fox quickly dodged the flying blades, running into the forest.

When Shiro came into the town, he did consider going to the smaller, dirtier looking inn, but then he saw Kon in the window of the other inn.

"Hey, asshat!" Shiro yelled. Kon looked over and smiled drunkenly, raising up a large jar of sake. Shiro smiled and headed on in.

Once he was at the inn, he forgot all about his quest, his promises to his dad, or the fact that he was a mission from his king.

* * *

><p><em>Ichigo – on his quest<em>

"That is serious if both of them are missing," the king said. "Oh well, you do have another son."

Isshin choked. "N-no! Not my Ichigo! Please, what if whatever happened to them happens to him! I can't let that happen to my sweet little baby boy!" he cried out.

King Yamamoto rolled his eyes and then looked over to the youth standing next to his dad.

"I'll bring back the bird," Ichigo promised the king, ignoring his dad's pleas to stay.

Ichigo watched the stars at he sat by the river, enjoying the warmth of his fire.

"Hello," came a voice from the darkness.

Ichigo sat up. "Why hello there, Mr. Fox," he greeted the fox. "Are you cold? The fire is big enough for us both."

"Actually, I'm here to give you advice," the fox said. "In the town ahead there will be two taverns, one worn and dirty looking, one new and beautiful and lively. Go to the worn out looking one."

"Thanks," Ichigo said. "Hey, Mr. Fox, do you have a name?"

"Byakuya," the fox answered.

"Thanks then, Byakuya."

I liked Mr. Fox better, Byakuya thought to himself.

* * *

><p>Ichigo didn't even look at the other inn, just walked over to the shabby one, talked to the old lady there, and fell asleep.<p>

As Ichigo prepared for his journey, the fox met up with him again.

"Hello there, Byakuya," Ichigo greeted the fox.

The fox grit his tiny little teeth. "Greetings," he said coldly. "If you continue along this road you will get to the bird you seek. It is guarded by an army, but they will be asleep so you will be able to pass them."

"All asleep? Did you use magic or something on them?" Ichigo asked.

"No, they are normally just passed out drunk by four in the afternoon," the fox said wryly. "Also, there will be two cages. The bird is in a wooden cage, do not remove it. There is a golden cage next to it, ignore it." The fox paused. "I can give you a ride if you want."

"A ride?" Ichigo's eyebrow when up.

All of sudden he found himself shrinking, or the fox growing very large. He grabbed onto the massive fox tail in front of him just as the fox took off. Ichigo watched the fast moving scenery in amazement, and was dropped off in front of the castle, in front of the sleeping army.

Ichigo snuck past the drunkards carefully, making his way to the area where Byakuya told him the bird was. Once he got to the bird, he paused. The bird was in a cage that looked about two seconds from breaking, built from twigs and twine, and barely large enough to contain the animal. Next to it was a large golden cage, outlined with fine jewels. Ichigo took the bird out of the wooden cage and placed it into the golden cage. The bird was so happy that he started singing very loudly. So loudly that the drunken army lumbered to it's collective feet and noticed that they had a trespasser.

"It's a lucky day today after all, Yumichika," Ikkaku said to his comrade.

"I agree Ikkaku. Who thought guarding a bird would have born such fruits?" Yumichika replied with a smile.

"Fine, let's go," Ichigo said as he drew his own weapon.

In the end it was a great fight, but Ichigo barely had any energy left by the time the general showed up, losing to the giant man.

"I'm sorry, General Zaraki," Ichigo apologized, in front of the man in chains.

"Kenny!" a little girl with pink hair whined, tugging on the man's robe.

"Quiet, Yachiru," Kenpachi said. "Look kid, you put up a good fight, but you were still trying to steal something of mine." He paused. "What was it you wanted?"

"The golden bird," Ichigo answered.

"Damn, that stupid thing? I hate that bird. Sings all the time," Kenpachi grumbled.

"I want a pony!" Yachiru announced.

"I don't really want the bird either, but I'm on a quest to get it for my king," Ichigo mentioned.

"PONY! I WANT A PONY!" Yachiru yelled.

"Tell ya what," Kenpachi said. "Get Yachiru a pony...er...horse...and we'll swap it out for the bird."

"Really?" Ichigo asked, a little stunned.

"The prettiest, fastest pony ever!" Yachiru said.

"Yeah ok, the prettiest...what she said," Kenpachi gestured towards the girl.

"I'll do it," Ichigo claimed.

* * *

><p>"It's it just youth's impudence, or are you incompetent? Perhaps listening is too hard a task for you?" the fox chastised him when he got outside of the gates.<p>

"Gesh, Byakuya, lay off. I'm sorry. The bird was happier with the new cage anyways," Ichigo pointed out.

"I know where the fastest horse in the world is," Byakuya said.

"It is pretty too?"

"It is a golden horse," Byakuya replied.

"I'm sensing a theme. So what do I do to get this horse?"

"I will give you a ride again," the fox said.

"Wait, last time you went too fast..." Ichigo stopped talking so that he wouldn't bite his tongue and held on to the foxes tail for dear life

"This is Shunsui Kyoraku's estate. If you wait here quietly you will hear the groom begin to snore when he falls asleep. Then go and take the horse. Remember to use the worn old leather saddle, and not the bright new golden one."

Ichigo waited until he could hear the groom's snores, and then snuck into the stable. The horse looked at him complacently. He reached for the old leather saddle, and paused. The horse looked at the saddle almost as if in horror. Ichigo supposed that the dirty looking saddle blanket underneath it was prickly feeling, and the leather of the saddle barely looked like it was maintaining it's shape. Ichigo looked at the newer saddle next to the leather one, reached for it, and put it on the horse. He looks like he'd like this one better, Ichigo justified to himself.

The second the saddle touched the horse, the horse gave a whinny of approval, waking the groom up. Ichigo was still injured from his fight against General Zaraki and his army, so he was taken easily once the guards were called.

"You were trying to steal my golden horse," the man on the dais said. He had long hair braided with chains running through them, an elaborate cloak, and was reclining on divan, being fed by scantily clad women who occasionally offered him sips of sake.

"I needed it for a quest," Ichigo stated. "I'm sorry Lord Kyoraku."

"What I really want is a woman," Shunsui Kyoraku said with a look in Ichigo's direction.

Ichigo blushed under the look. "I...d-don't look at me when you say that! I assure you I'm a man."

Shunsui blinked. "That wasn't where I was going with this, but now I'm a little curious," he looked over the youth again.

"S-stop that!" Ichigo yelled at him.

"What I meant is that I want a specific woman, a princess. My friend is her guardian and he won't let me have her. If you can get her for me, I will give you the horse," Shunsui offered.

"Maybe your friend thinks you have enough women," Ichigo pointed out.

"Naw," Shunsui shrugged.

"Maybe he doesn't like the idea of "giving" you a woman like she's a thing and not a person," Ichigo mentioned.

"Huh, I think he did say something along those lines," Shunsui waved the idea away.

"I'll do it," Ichigo said hesitantly.

"Her name is Rukia," Shunsui said. "And she's staying at Lord Ukitake's castle just across the hilly pass."

* * *

><p>"Byakuya?" Ichigo asked the fox, once he was camping in the forest again.<p>

"Yes?" the fox asked.

"I don't think I want to just give the princess to that man, he was kind of creepy," Ichigo told the fox.

"It's ok, I have a plan," the fox said.

* * *

><p><em>Part two will be up in a couple of days!<em>


	2. The Golden Bird part 2

**The Golden Bird – Part 2**

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><p>"K-kiss her?" Ichigo asked. "Are you sure, Mr. Fox?"<p>

"What, I'm only Mr. Fox when you don't want to do something, and Byakuya the rest of the time?" the fox asked, irritated.

"I just...I mean just kiss her? Shouldn't we...talk or something first?"

"She is in there bathing. Wait until she has dressed, but before she has left the bath house, and then kiss her and ask her to go away with you. If you wait, her attendants will come," the fox explained.

"But why can't I let her say good-bye? That seems kind of mean," Ichigo pointed out.

"Do not let her say good-bye to anyone. Just kiss her and then get her to leave with you," the fox repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time. He paused. "It is that your brain can't work with words too large? Are my sentences too complex for you?"

"Shut up!" Ichigo defended himself. "I hear you. Fine...I'm going," Ichigo began walking.

"If you go now, she won't be dressed yet," the fox chastised the youth.

Ichigo froze. "I'll...wait," he said with a deep blush.

Once the fox had given him the go ahead, Ichigo went into the bath house.

"Gah!" the princess yelled. She picked up a bucket and slammed it over Ichigo's head.

Ichigo thanked his fast reflexes, or else he would have had a cracked head (instead of a sore hand from blocking). "Um, hi, Princess," Ichigo stuttered out.

She stared at him as if he were crazy. "What the hell are you doing here!" she yelled. She gasped. "Did you peep at me while I was bathing?"

"N-no! Of course not!" Ichigo stammered. "I just..."

Kiss her you idiot, the fox thought, listening to the conversation outside.

"You're not from around here, are you?" the princess stated.

"Ha ha, no. I'm on a quest. Actually...I live really far away from here now that I think about it. Oh...uh, do you want to go with me?" Ichigo blurted out.

"Go with you where?"

"To my home. Far away," Ichigo said.

The princesses eyes narrowed. Ichigo wrapped his arms around her while it still looked like she hadn't gotten herself a new weapon. She looked up at him in shock. He looked down at her not really sure where to go from there. Finally he just took a deep breath to calm himself, and then kissed her.

"You haven't told me your name," the princess said breathlessly as he pulled away.

"Oh, I'm Ichigo."

"I'm Rukia," the princess said. "Where do you live again?"

"Far away. I've traveled on the fastest horse in the world for part of it, and on the back of a magical fox for another part of it. I'm on a quest to get a golden bird," Ichigo explained.

"I think...that I'd really like to not be around this place anymore," Rukia admitted. "I'll go with you."

"Really?"

"But...my guardian, Lord Ukitake has been so kind to me, taking me in and caring for me for all of these years. I can't just disappear, he'll think I've been kidnapped, or killed," Rukia said.

"Yeah, you should talk..." Ichigo stopped. "Actually, I'm sorry, but I can't let you say good-bye to anyone. We have to go now."

"What was that?" Rukia's eyebrow went up.

"I said..." Ichigo was already beginning to duck, but Rukia went with a different route. "Guh..." Ichigo just looked at the woman in front of him, tears flowing down her eyes. "Don't do that..."

Rukia turned up the waterworks, full on bawling. "P-p-please! I have to say good-bye to him! He's like my father! What kind of person are you? Why are you so cruel?"

Ichigo sighed. "Yeah, fine. Just be quick."

He followed Rukia from a distance, watching her sneakily enter into the estate through a side door. The second she was inside, both of them were surrounded by guards. He looked up at her, expecting to find he had been betrayed, but all he saw was innocence and surprise on her face.

* * *

><p>"You want to run off with...this random man?" Lord Ukitake said with concern in his voice.<p>

"Look at him," Rukia insisted.

"Is that hair dyed?" Lord Ukitake asked Ichigo. "It's an unnatural color of orange."

"W-what? What the hell kind of question is that at a time like this? Of course it's natural!" Ichigo said angrily. He muttered a small "ow" as one of his guards, named Sentaro, smacked him upside the head.

"Don't talk to Lord Ukitake that way!" the man said.

"Yeah, don't talk to Lord Ukitake that way!" Ichigo's other guard, a smaller looking woman said, also hitting Ichigo in the head.

"Kiyone, why do you have to always repeat me?" Sentaro said with a low growl.

"Like I'd repeat something dumb out of your ugly mouth!" Kiyone yelled.

"Not now," Lord Ukitake held up a hand, calming the two.

Rukia approached Lord Ukitake and spoke lowly. "You know I've been having dreams about a man with orange hair."

"That doesn't mean you have to run away and marry him!" Lord Ukitake whispered back.

"Who said marry? I'm just running away with him. If he's a jerk, I'll just ditch him later," Rukia said.

Lord Ukitake blinked. "I must be getting too old. That is not how young princesses are supposed to act."

"If I stay here, Lord Kyoraku will eventually kidnap me anyways," Rukia pointed out. "I'll be fine. I have good feeling about this."

"Young man," Lord Ukitake said loudly, addressing Ichigo.

"Uh, yeah?" Ichigo replied.

"I will let you take the princess, but I cannot let you have her without you doing anything to prove yourself to me."

"What can I do?" Ichigo asked.

Lord Ukitake looked out his window. "I've always wished that this hill wouldn't be in the way, that way I could see the river and lake clearly from this main hall."

"Hill? That's more like a mountain!" Ichigo exclaimed.

"You have one week to remove it," Lord Ukitake said.

"Do I get help?"

"No," Lord Ukitake said. "Well, I will give you a shovel."

"Thanks," Ichigo replied dryly.

"I'll help!" Rukia offered.

"No you won't," Lord Ukitake said firmly.

* * *

><p>It was the end of the 6th day and Ichigo was beginning to think he wasn't going to make it. He swore that the "hill" was somehow growing and not shrinking. "Ahhhh!" he said, throwing his shovel at a tree.<p>

"Are you giving up?" the fox asked, watching from the forest.

"...no. I'm just resting," Ichigo said, leaning against a tree.

"Sleep for awhile, I will help you," the fox said.

"Thanks, Byakuya," Ichigo said sleepily.

"Wake up! Wake up!"

"Who is that?" Ichigo asked, his eyes clouded with sleep. They cleared to reveal princess Rukia smiling down on him.

"I can't believe you did it!" Rukia said with a laugh.

"Haha, yeah!" Ichigo agreed, looking at the newly flattened hill. Thank you, Mr. Fox, he thought to himself.

"Well, now that you've had a week to think about it, do you still want to go with him?" Lord Ukitake said, looking out towards the river.

"Yes," Rukia said.

"Well then, many blessings on you two," Lord Ukitake stated.

* * *

><p>"So how is this plan going to work?" Ichigo asked in a hushed voice. He hadn't really explained the "I sometimes talk to a fox" thing to Rukia yet. Once he heard the fox's plan, he decided to explain it to Rukia, which was going to involve him telling her that he was originally supposed to get her and give her to Lord Kyoraku. He was already dreading her tiny little fists flying towards his face.<p>

* * *

><p>Ichigo planted a tied up Rukia next to Lord Kyoraku, who was looking very pleased.<p>

"Untie me, you pig," Rukia said with a glare. Lord Kyoraku made a gesture and an amazonian looking woman (one of honor guard of many many half naked amazonian looking women) cut her free from her bindings.

"Well, I guess you earned Zangetsu," Lord Kyoraku said.

"Odd name for a horse," Ichigo commented. Lord Kyoraku shrugged.

Ichigo mounted Zangetsu and walked him towards the gardens, where Lord Kyoraku and his entourage were hanging.

"Good-bye," Ichigo held out a hand. Lord Kyoraku grabbed it and shook it. "And to you, Princess," Ichigo said, extending out his hand.

Rukia grinned and clasped onto his hand, raising one foot to the horse. Ichigo quickly lifted her up behind him and they took off.

"So uh...anyone know how to catch the fastest horse in the world?" Lord Kyoraku asked out loud, looking a little chagrined.

* * *

><p>"Wow! The horse is so pretty!" Yachiru cooed.<p>

"Good, that means you'll shaddup now, right?" Kenpachi said.

Yachiru nodded.

"And who is this?" Kenpachi asked to the hooded and cloaked figure next to the horse.

"The horse's handler," Ichigo stated. "Now, can I have the bird?"

"Sure," Kenpachi led him to the tower that the bird was kept in. Ichigo brought it down the stairs.

"Sorry if the little girl complains," Ichigo said. "But I need the horse to get home."

"What?" Kenpachi asked.

There was a blur, and the golden horse Zangetsu was at the door, Rukia on his back. Ichigo quickly handed the cage to Rukia and jumped onto the horse. Kenpachi's eyes went wide, but just as he attacked, the horse was gone, making an impossible looking leap over a battlement.

Kenpachi looked shocked, and then started laughing.

"My...my pony!" Yachiru whined.

"Man, that kid sure has some balls," Kenpachi said with a wicked looking grin.

"Pony..." Yachiru softly said in a sad voice.

"Ikkaku," Kenpachi called out. "You're on pony duty today."

"What? I was on pony duty yesterday!" Ikkaku complained.

Yachiru cheered and jumped onto the bald man's back. "But you're my favorite pony!" she said, just before glomping onto his gleaming head with her teeth, not only biting him but drooling all over him.

* * *

><p>"Thank you so much, Byakuya," Ichigo said to the fox as Rukia led Zangetsu off to drink from a nearby stream. "Is there anything I can do for you?"<p>

"Yes," the fox said.

"What is it?"

"I want you to cut off my head, cut off my tail, and then cut of all four of my legs," Byakuya requested.

Ichigo's mouth was wide. "NO! What the hell?"

It was hard for Byakuya to get it out but he finally said, "Please do it."

"I...I'm sorry Mr. Fox, but there's no way I can do that to you," Ichigo stated.

Byakuya sighed. "I have some more advice for you before I go."

Ichigo was relieved that the fox wasn't pressing the whole "please brutally murder me" request. "What is your advice?" he asked.

"Do not ever pay for someone to not be sent to the gallows, and never sleep by the river," Byakuya told the boy.

"Thanks," Ichigo said, petting the fox's head and shoulders.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" the fox asked.

"You're soft," Ichigo replied with a shrug, giving the fox another pet.

"Good-bye," the fox said as he ran back into the forest.

* * *

><p>"We are close?" Rukia asked.<p>

"Yeah, this is actually the first town I came through on my journey," Ichigo told her. "What is happening in the middle of town?" he wondered out loud.

There was a small crowd gathered around the stockade, where two people were being held, their hands and heads pulled through the wooden device, held by chains.

"S-shiro! Kon!" Ichigo exclaimed.

"Oh, hey Ichi," Shiro greeted his brother with a wide grin.

"Ichigo! Don't let them execute us!" Kon begged. "They're going to kill us at noon!"

"Execute? What the hell did you guys do?" Ichigo asked.

"Well, you know that Kon get's all grabby when he's drunk," Shiro mentioned.

Ichigo groaned. "How many women did you molest, you pervert!"

"And...you know that Shiro get's all stabby when _he's_ drunk," Kon said.

"Yeah, I got _really_ stabby," Shiro admitted.

"Give me a second," Ichigo told his brothers.

"Hey, who's the hot chick?" Kon asked his brother's retreating back.

"Bash his head in if he insults you," Ichigo instructed Rukia.

"Balls are easier to get to," Rukia pointed out.

Kon winced. Shiro laughed.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you got us free," Kon said, giving his brother a big hug.<p>

"He bribed 'em," Shiro mentioned.

"Well thank you for paying them off then," Kon stated. "Hey, I remember this river. I met a talking fox here."

"Me too," Shiro said. "Bastard was fast though. Otherwise I would have had a kickass hat."

Ichigo bit his tongue and didn't mention that the fox had helped him the whole time.

After chatting for awhile, Ichigo, his brothers, and Rukia fell asleep under the stars, next to the river.

* * *

><p>Ichigo woke up sharply as his head hit some rocks. He struggled to breathe as the fast moving water of the river pushed him downstream. His hands were tied behind his back so he couldn't swim. Finally his feet made purchase on the gravel at the river's bottom and he pushed up with all of his might, managing to make it to the surface and get a gulp of air before sinking into the water again. He felt something sharp at his wrists, and then the rope was loose and he swam to the shore.<p>

Next to him was a wet fox.

"You...saved me?" Ichigo asked, still gasping for breath.

"You never listen," the fox complained. "I imagine I should tell you the opposite of what you should do, and then you'd do the right thing in the end."

"What happened? Did we get attacked by bandits? Are the others ok?" Ichigo wondered, looking around frantically for his brothers and princess Rukia.

"Your brothers tied you up and threw you into the river," Byakuya explained.

"They...my own brothers tried to kill me?" Ichigo was shocked.

"They were worried about what you'd tell your father, what you'd tell the king," Byakuya said. "However, I don't think they meant to kill you. The eldest one did a magic spell. I think he was trying to turn you into a fish."

"Fine, not dead but close enough then," Ichigo grumbled, his head in his hands. "Why would they do that? The princess...is she safe?"

"They haven't harmed her," Byakuya said. "They plan on taking the bird, the horse, and the princess back to the king as evidence of their quest."

* * *

><p>"This golden bird never sings," King Yamamoto complained.<p>

"Well _sorry_," Shiro said with a roll of his eyes.

"Have you tried poking him?" Kon suggested. "He's probably just depressed."

"The "fastest horse in the world" doesn't run, you know," Yamamoto pointed out. "He mostly just sleeps."

"Maybe...he's depressed too?" Kon offered.

"The princess won't eat and hasn't spoken a word to anyone," the king said.

"She's just a bitch," Shiro said.

"I'm sure they'll all adjust and be fine soon," Kon stated, with a large fake smile.

"Hmpf," the king grumbled, waving the two out of his hall.

"Shiro?" Kon said, once they were in the garden.

"Yeah?"

"We really shouldn't have done that."

"I...know," Shiro admitted.

"We haven't heard from him, do you think he's dead?" Kon wondered.

"He probably drowned, so yeah," Shiro said sadly, kicking at a rock.

"What? He didn't drown! I turned him into a fish!"

"Your magic sucks. He probably died," Shiro stated.

"I...I didn't kill him!" Kon sad with large tears in his eyes.

How the hell did I wind up with a brother like this? Shiro wondered. Of course, he was feeling pretty low himself. "Maybe he hit his head on some rocks and has amnesia," Shiro offered a better alternative than death to Kon.

"Amnesia?"

"Yeah...he's probably fine," Shiro lied.

Rukia was leaning against a nearby tree, her hand on Zangetsu's flank as he lay.

I'm glad I didn't say anything then, she thought to herself. I get the feeling that Ichigo wouldn't want me to get his brothers in trouble.

"I'm sure he'll come back for us," Rukia said softly to the golden horse. Zangetsu's ears twitched.

* * *

><p>Ichigo had tried to sneak into the kingdom wearing rags, pretending to be a begger, but the second he got close to the king's castle Zangetsu ran forward and almost knocked him over in greeting.<p>

Ichigo tried to adjust his cloak, patting Zangetsu's mane affectionately.

Inside, where the king was watching, the golden bird starting singing a happy tune. The king smiled as the bird finally started to fly around in the large atrium that he had made for it.

"Ichigo," Rukia said, falling into Ichigo's arms as he approached the king's main hall. "You idiot. I thought you were dead."

"Come here, begger," the king called from a window.

Ichigo walked into the hall, followed by Rukia and Zangetsu, who despite the guards' trying to block him, walked inside after Ichigo. The bird called out to him as he walked past it's large cage.

"Hm," the king said. "Take off your cloak."

Ichigo took off his cloak, revealing his easily recognizable orange hair.

"Ichi!"

"King!"

Shiro and Kon bolted into the room, Shiro jumped over the tops of the guards, and Kon sliding underneath them. Both practically tackled Ichigo, hanging onto him with ferocious hugs.

"Sorry," Shiro said quietly.

Kon just sobbed.

The king raised his eyebrows but didn't comment, aside from saying, "So I take it you got my bird for me, Ichigo?"

"Yes," Ichigo said.

"And got the fastest horse in the world, and the princess?" the king continued.

"Yes," Ichigo admitted.

"S-son!" Isshin cried, as he kicked the guards out of the way. "My precious boy!"

* * *

><p>It was years later. King Yamamoto had felt his age, and had made Ichigo his heir, not having children of his own. Ichigo became king, and had married the princess Rukia.<p>

He sat by a fountain in his favorite garden, and saw an old friend.

"Mr. Fox, is has been quite a while," Ichigo said. "Please, let me help you. We can built you a nice home here in the garden and feed you fresh berries and meat whenever you want."

"I do have a request of you," the fox stated.

"Anything," Ichigo told Byakuya.

"Cut off my head, my tail, and all my legs," Byakuya said.

Ichigo froze. He lay for a minute in the sunlight, his eyes closed. "Alright," he said. "I don't want to do it, but if you still want that after all of these years, I'll help you onto your next journey."

Ichigo pulled out his sword and paused only for a moment before doing the task, his eyes watering as the sight of his good friend, dead by his hand. All of sudden though, from the corpse of the fox, sprang a new form. Ichigo jumped back and stared at astonishment at the man in front of him. He wordlessly took off his robe and gave it to the naked man, who clothed himself quickly.

"B-brother?" Rukia said, coming out to find Ichigo.

"What?" Ichigo stammered.

"Byakuya! It really is you!" Rukia cried out, hugging her brother closely.

"I don't understand," Ichigo said.

"I don't find that surprising," Byakuya replied, with a firm lip, but sparkling eyes to indicate that he was teasing the new king. "I was cursed by a witch many years ago," Byakuya explained. "But now I am free."

"Thank you, Mr. Fox, for all you've done for me," Ichigo said.

Byakuya gave a small nod, while Rukia looked confused, but still very happy.

_The End_

* * *

><p><em>Omake<em>

"Rukia, I can't believe that you married this idiot," Byakuya said with a disdainful sniff of his nose.

"Idiot? Idiot! Oh yeah, well Rukia, your brother let me pet him ALL THE TIME," Ichigo said triumphantly.

"You let him do what, brother?" Rukia asked Byakuya, confused.

"Ichigo cut off my head," Byakuya mentioned.

"YOU WHAT!" Rukia yelled, smacking Ichigo hard.

Damn it, the stupid fox always wins, Ichigo thought with a wince.

* * *

><p><em>AN: So in the original, the brothers are totally evil and do try to murder their brother, and get punished in the end. Also, the princess is pretty much treated the same as the bird (as in an object). I can't really go for that stuff, and neither can Rukia, so I gave her a bigger role in this._

**Next up:** one with Kensei and Shuuhei, by request. It's a Native American tale and relatively short, so I doubt it'll be too long before I get it up.


	3. Comrades

**Comrades**

**From:** Native American Folklore

**Warnings:** None

**Main Cast:** Kensei (as Rabbit), Shuuhei

**Also:** Aaroneiro (as Double-Face) Mashiro, Chojiro

* * *

><p>Kensei was a very brave man, and despite being a great warrior, could have a very kindly disposition when people were in need.<p>

While hunting he heard a cry of a baby, and he ran towards it, finding a person standing over the child, hitting it with whips and pinching him harshly.

"Stop!" Kensei called out. "What kind of coward attacks a child?"

"Oh, I am just teasing the poor thing," the person said, his face now serene and peaceful looking. "I didn't mean any harm."

Kensei wasn't fooled at all by the man's mild manner, he knew that the man was Aaroneiro, feared as the Double-Faced man who would torment many people in the village just for the sheer joy of chaos and pain.

"Give the baby to me," Kensei ordered Aaroneiro.

"No. He is mine. And if you try to take him from me, you'll only find pain!" Aaroneiro said back.

Kensei growled, changing instantly into a great beast, attacking the two faced demon and defeating him easily, all without harming the child.

"Where do you live?" he asked the child, who wasn't of talking age. Eventually Kensei found the nearest village, and found an elderly couple who had lost all of their children and grandchildren to Aaroneiro. "Come, I have your grandchild!" he called out, but the elderly couple had been tricked too many times by Double-Face, and assumed that it was yet another ruse. They refused to let Kensei come in, and refused to take the child.

"Well, kid, I guess you're stuck with me," Kensei said as he lay next to his night fire, holding the child close to him as he slept.

In the morning he was surprised to find his arm around a full grown man.

"Where is the child that was here?" Kensei asked.

"I am him. Thank you for rescuing me," the young man said. "My name is Shuuhei."

"Remarkable."

"From now on, we are comrades for life," Shuuhei said. "We will both go out and do our duties, trying to bring good to this world, but if you ever need me, or if I ever need you, we will always be there for each other."

Kensei agreed. "I've never had a brother," he said. "Although you look like enough to me to be related."

"Good luck on your travels," Shuuhei wished him with a small salute.

It wasn't too long before Kensei found a woman caught up in a tree, which had practically swallowed her whole. She was crying out in pain as the tree pressed on her.

"Please, I will take your place," Kensei said.

"My name is Mashiro, thank you," the girl said, able to move once the tree released her and went for Kensei instead.

Kensei gasped as the tree clasped around him.

"Are you going to be ok?" Mashiro asked.

"I'm...fine..." Kensei grunted.

After she left he finally gave in to the pain, sweat rolling down his face as he cried out to the heavens. "Shuuhei!" he cried out.

Shuuhei was there, almost as if on the breeze itself.

"I'd hate to have to ask how this happened," Shuuhei said with a small smile.

"Then don't," Kensei grimaced.

Shuuhei lifted up his zanpakuto and struck the tree once, and it instantly opened up, freeing Kensei.

Once again the two parted, but it wasn't too long after that that Kensei spotted a small cottage near the river. Inside was an old blind man.

"Hello, grandfather, can I help you?" Kensei asked.

"My name is Chojiro. Although the people of the village have left me much dried meat and other food, and have tied a rope to led me to the river, no one comes and visits me. I am so lonely and wish to see my friends again," the old man complained.

"Please, have my eyes. I am young and strong and can do without them," Kensei claimed.

The man gladly took Kensei's eyes and left.

Kensei was ok at first, able to eat the food from the storage containers, but one day while following the rope that led to the river, he fell in. As he felt the water begin to rise over his head, he struggled to get to shore. Finally making it, he tried to find his way back to the cottage, the vines and thorns of the trees and plants scratching at his face and hands and feet as he tried to find his way. Eventually, in exhaustion, still wet and cold, and covered in bloody scratches, he called out, "Shuuhei!"

It was but a moment when Shuuhei showed up, and helped him to the cottage.

"Here," Shuuhei said, and Kensei could see once again.

"I know that you want to help people sometimes, but be careful of what you do, don't offer more than you can afford to give," Shuuhei offered by way of advice.

"Mmm," Kensei replied, warming himself by the fire. "I'm saving you next time, right?"

"Ha, yeah, I'll make sure to get into trouble just so that we can even things up," Shuuhei laughed.

* * *

><p><em>Next up: By request – Gin and Rangiku. I have a couple of ideas about this but haven't worked out the details yet.<em>


	4. Eros & Psyche

**Eros & Psyche (Heart & Soul)**

**From:** Roman and Greek Mythology (there are multiple versions of this story)

**Warnings:** Implied sex between a married couple

**Main Cast: **Rangiku as Psyche, Gin as Eros (Cupid), Soifon as Aphrodite

**Also: **Orihime and Rukia as Rangiku's sisters, Unohana as Demeter, Yoruichi as Persephone

* * *

><p>In the land of sun there was a golden goddess. She wasn't really a goddess, but that didn't stop people from worshiping her. When her two sisters Orihime and Rukia had grown up, everyone had though them to be utterly beautiful, but they had nothing on the beauty of Rangiku.<p>

Eventually the people began to even pray to her as the goddess of beauty and love, which didn't go over with the actual goddess of beauty and love. She looked down with anger on the people who where blaspheming and realized that her own temples weren't being given the same gifts that this Rangiku mortal was getting. As revenge against the fickle mortals she sent down her servant, Gin Ichimaru, who often played games with the mortals (and immortals), making them fall in love with his magically bow.

"Make her fall in love with the ugliest man in the world," Soifon ordered.

Gin agreed and went down to do his duty, but was quite taken with the woman he was supposed to curse.

"Would you like a dried persimmon?" the woman offered him, even though he had hidden his godhood and was dressed as a beggar. "You look hungry."

So Gin spent the day eating dried persimmons with the beauty, loving her laugh as he told her jokes. He pulled some sake from his pack and the two got drunk, their merriment increasing as the day grew long and the fireflies began to come up. While semi-drunkenly looking for some more sake in his pack, he accidentally pricked his own finger with the bow, and fell hopelessly in love with Rangiku.

* * *

><p>Soifon was curious as to why Rangiku still hadn't fallen in love with anyone so she put her own curse on the woman; that she would be alone for eternity, never being with any mortal man. Meanwhile, Gin was doing silly things like watching butterflies and mooning over flowers. Soifon had to shake her head at her silly servant and wonder what in the world had happened to him. He refused to do his job and no animals were mating, no humans were making children, the earth itself was dying. Finally, she made an agreement with him.<p>

* * *

><p>Rangiku knew she was cursed! She had just known! She had definitely been gaining weight and she had a pimple the other day. Of course the trip to the oracle painted a much worse picture, a life alone without love...well, not without love at all. She was to be the bride of a beast or a monster.<p>

Rangiku's sisters and parents wept with her, but in the end she submitted to her fate and waited on a hillside for her monstrous suitor to come for her. She waited through the night, watching the stars when she saw them blotted out by something big. She closed her eyes in brief fear and then felt herself being taken some place.

When she woke she was surprised that she was surrounded by food and drink, her favorite fruits and the very best sake. There was a note on the table that told her all she needed to do was ask for something and it would be given to her. She never saw any servants, although all of her needs were tended to. Baths in the large house she lived in were drawn, fresh roses set at the table, fires started and her bed made.

And of course there was her husband.

He only came at night. The first time Rangiku had laid in bed frightened, wondering at the beast she had married. But then a cool hand had wrapped around her, holding her close until her shaking stopped.

He smells so good, Rangiku had though, eventually gaining the courage to run her fingers through his hair, finding it of medium length and very fine and soft.

"Can you turn on the lights?" she asked quietly.

"No," came a voice that almost triggered a memory, but the remembrance remained hidden from her consciousness.

It didn't sound like the voice of a monster, but monsters could be tricky.

As Rangiku went to ask another question her lips were caught in a kiss, a warn enveloping kiss that took over her senses. Since she had never been in love she had never kissed anyone aside from her family members. She had flirted a lot with the local boys, but had never found any interesting enough to go farther with.

So this is a kiss, she thought to herself, even as she was being laid back gently into the pillow, covered in more kisses.

"Tomorrow we'll do more. I want you to be settled in, my love," the hidden beast said.

* * *

><p>By the time that the monster finally made his move, Rangiku had to admit that she more than wanted him. She was no longer afraid of him, although the fact that she was alone during the days was boring and lonely.<p>

Still, she looked forward to the nights with him and his familiar presence, and as he undressed her she ran her hands along his body helping him with his own clothing in the dark of their room, the only room she had even seen him in. She wished that she knew what he looked like, but at least he didn't feel scaly or like he had wings or claws or talons or fangs. Perhaps he was a shapes shifter? In any case, she gave herself willingly to her captor, grabbing onto him in passion as they made love for the first time.

It was several months before the loneliness got too much. "Please, can I see my family?" she asked the hidden beast that night as they lay holding each other.

The hidden beast knew that it wasn't a good idea, but in truth he could never refuse his wife anything, aside from telling or showing his true identity, so he gave in.

Rukia and Orihime where taken to Rangiku's palace, marveling at the grounds and at their food and rooms.

"What about your husband?" Rukia asked. "Is he as hideous at the oracles said?"

"Does he touch you?" Orihime shivered.

"I don't think he's a beast or a monster," Rangiku said.

"Don't think? What, you haven't see him?" Rukia scoffed.

"No..." Rangiku admitted.

"At least he hasn't eaten you yet," Orihime said.

"I bet he's a dragon in disguise them, fattening you up before he eats you, or a sadistic satyr who has just made you one of his many women," Rukia pointed out.

"Rukia, he's not like that!" Rangiku defended her husband.

"Then why don't you look?" Rukia asked.

"Oh yes, why don't you just bring in a lamp while he's sleeping? You could finally see him," Orihime agreed.

After her sisters left Rangiku was torn. She didn't want to disobey her husband, but on the other hand she was a very curious person. Finally she decided to do it. One night, when the two of them had spent all evening drinking and making love, she figured he was tired enough that he wouldn't wake and brought an oil lamp to the bed, holding a knife in one hand just in case he turned out to be a dragon that wanted to eat her.

As the light caressed the face of her husband she gasped at the beauty of it, instantly knowing that he was no mortal, his silver hair and grin making him looking mischievous and lovely even in his sleep. In her shock she dropped the oil lamp onto his face and chest, and he woke up with a startled shout.

"I am the god Eros, also known as Gin Ichimaru. We met before and I loved you," Gin said. "But you broke your promise to not try and find out who I truly am," he said, leaving at once, holding his wounded face.

The house disappeared around Rangiku, and the grounds fell into ruin. Rangiku cried out in the wind, not caring about losing her things, but desperate to get her love back. "GIN!" she screamed, the wind caring her cries away.

* * *

><p>Rangiku returned to her sisters and family before setting out on a journey. If she couldn't be with the one she loved, then maybe she could find some other meaning in life. She found an abandoned hall, littered with baskets of grain. She took the grain up and cleaned up the hall, restoring the hall that had used to be a temple. Unohana, who was the goddess of growing things, saw her and approached her. She was happy that her temple had been restored and upon hearing the girl's story, promised to help her get her loved one back.<p>

"I will talk to Soifon. She can be capricious and stern, but she is after all the goddess of love. We can sway her heart," Unohana promised Rangiku.

* * *

><p>"You love Gin Ichimaru?" Soifon laughed coldly.<p>

"Yes," Rangiku said quietly. "Please, let me see him again. I just want to talk to him."

"You must do some tasks for me first, to prove that you are really as in love as you say you are. A lot of women would pretend to love a god," Soifon said. "First I want you to sort these grains and seeds for me, by tomorrow!"

The storeroom was a mess, full of different types of catnip for Soifon's sacred animal, the cat. Rangiku had no idea how she would organize it in time, but she agreed to do it, tears in her eyes as she began to work.

The ants that usually moved around the room noticed her tears and asked her what was wrong, eventually offering to help her, calling on a huge army of ants to move the different branches and leaves and seeds to different parts of the room.

In the morning it was done, and there was nothing that Soifon could do. She looked angry and told Rangiku that she had merely finished her first task. "I want wool from every one of the golden sheep on the hill just beyond this temple," Soifon ordered.

Rangiku thought that sounded a lot easier than her previous job, but was shocked to find that the sheep were sheep of the sun god, flaming hot and impossible for her to touch. She began to cry by the river but drew the attention of a river god, who had pity on her after hearing about her story. The river god said, "Just wait until the sun goes down at the sheep all go home. When they come to drink at the river they go through the briar patch and leave behind wool on the branches."

So Rangiku came back to Soifon with an armful of golden wool gathered from the thorns by the river , but Soifon was angry still.

"Mortal, here is your last task," Soifon said, finally coming up with something that she honestly didn't think Rangiku could do. "I want you to go to the underworld and get me some beauty from Yoruichi, goddess of death and spring."

Rangiku trembled at the request but bravely made her way to the gates of the underworld, only stopping in fear once she got to the gate. She heard Gin's voice on the wind however, encouraging her, and took heart, going down to meet Yoruichi.

As she was leaving however, she couldn't help but wonder at what was in the box, which didn't seem heavy at all. What did the goddess of love and beauty need with more beauty anyways? Rangiku was the one that needed to win Gin back. Surely Soifon wouldn't miss a little bit of beauty. Rangiku opened the box. However, Yoruichi's "beauty" made Rangiku go into a deep coma from which she didn't wake.

Gin found her, having healed himself and forgiven her for her transgression and carried her to the heavens, wiping the sleep from her eyes and presenting her to the various gods and goddesses of heaven. He told their story and got together a council of the gods, who agreed that because the pair loved each other so much that they should be together.

"Here, have this," Gin said, raising a cup to Rangiku.

"What is it?" she asked.

"The best sake you've ever had," Gin smiled widely as he handed her the ambrosia.

She drank deeply, becoming an immortal and growing even more beautiful and luminous than before. so that the two could always be together, heart and soul now always being entwined.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I think that the next one will be Shiro and Ichigo one about two brothers bringing their mom back from the dead._


End file.
